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Thread: Paid egg donor wanted

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    U.S. Gulf Coast
    Posts
    7,198

    Default Paid egg donor wanted

    Hi, everyone. My wife and I (a fellow TOL member who rarely posts) are ready to start our family. Problem is, she's infertile. We intend to do an IVF pregnancy with a gestational surrogate. We have settled upon the surrogate and fertility clinic (surrogate and I just went there, and both of us fully checked out).

    Our main obstacle at this point is the egg donor. We're having an oddly difficult time finding an appropriate one for us. We want a genetic (natural) redhead so any children will look like like our natural offspring, Caucasian (nonHispanic) and for her to be under age 25. Per standard industry practice for this, she would have to be in good health, a nonsmoker, no genetic diseases like Cystic Fibrosis or Tay-Sachs in her family, and free of STDs and blood-borne illnesses such as Hepatitis.

    Compensation for her time and trouble will be at least $4K, with a fair amount of free medical checkups and all her expenses covered. There would be at least one brief trip to North Texas necessary.

    This whole thing would not affect her ability to have children in the future in the slightest. (According to at least one source, it might improve it slightly.) No laws of any applicable state will be broken during this endeavor; we are using the services of a lawyer that specializes in this sort of thing. Plus, the young lady could do this again every 3 months for several years (for other couples), if she were so inclined. (Once an egg donor is proven, the agencies pay higher compensation.) Three doctor visits for $4K+ isn't bad compensation IMO, and works out well for students in particular. Many egg donors are medical-career-field oriented, so it can't be bad for them, or they wouldn't do it.

    My wife and I are Christian (if pro-choice). If we succeed in our quest to have a family together, she will both nurse while being a stay-at-home mother, and we will homeschool. I already know to get the Robinson Curriculum and Saxon Math, have lots of ideas on good age-appropriate Christian/conservative/Constitutionalist books to stock their library with from an early age, want to get science-oriented placemats/wallposters, can't wait to take our child to museums and libraries, intend to be a Boy Scout/Heritage Girls adult leader if we're blessed with a child who takes after my love of the outdoors, etc.

    Meeting or not meeting my wife and I would be up to the egg donor. We would have to be able to view several adult photos, but otherwise full, permanent anonymity is available if she wants it. (The clinic can serve as a permanently confidential intermediary.)

    If you think you know someone who might be interested in this, please PM me. (People opposed to this, please do my wife and I the courtesy of lambasting us all you want openly on the board, not clogging up my PM box.)
    Last edited by MinnesotaSmith; 02-15-2011 at 08:11 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    8,406

    Default

    I wish you both all the best and hope you find just the right donor!
    expatriate Californian living in rural Ireland with husband, dogs, horses. garden and many, many cats

  3. #3
    MidnightTide Guest

    Default

    Hope you are careful, have read horror stories about people getting scammed in this type of situation.

    But best of luck.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Default Thank you for your well wishes, Disaster Cat andMidnight Tide...

    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightTide View Post
    Hope you are careful, have read horror stories about people getting scammed in this type of situation.

    But best of luck.
    We have a doc and clinic that are pretty darned good. The surrogate is someone one of us has known a long, long time, so we can be sure that she won't get "Madonna Syndrome" and decide to keep the baby once delivered. I read about a fertility clinic that the doc put his own seed in for numerous patients, so I will get a paternity test done within a few days after birth and handover to double check that.

    Ultimately, though while checking bonafides is worth doing, one finally has to trust that God will lead you in time of need to the right people. I learned while hiking long trails just how good most people are; the evil and crazy get so much press, but they're not the majority, however much it seems that way at times.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Born on a Mountaintop
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    10,446

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    Best of luck to you and your wife, Minnesota.
    20+ years ago, my wife tried IVF. It was still pretty experimental at that time.
    I'm sure there has been great improvent since then

    Subsequently, we adopted a beautiful baby boy from Guatemala.
    After that, someone dropped our daughter off to us

    God has a plan for your family,too
    Plato once said, “Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools, because they have to say something.”

    "Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt." "Men willingly believe what they wish to believe."
    Julius Caesar

    There's no natural calamity that government can't make worse.
    Bill Bonner

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    U.S. Gulf Coast
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    7,198

    Default Thank you, Davy...

    We'll get there.

    Why we're so adamant on a younger-than-usual egg donor:

    http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and...-down-syndrome

    Seventh paragraph, the one starting with "Paternal age has an effect..."

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Iowa
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    37,660

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    Quote Originally Posted by Davy Crockett View Post
    After that, someone dropped our daughter off to us
    ???
    • “I am not afraid, because I was born to do this."

      Joan of Arc
    Mark 8:38 - Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Born on a Mountaintop
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    Default

    Pachyderm's wife, it sounds like I should clarify.
    I don't want to hijack Minnesota's thread so I'll do the Cliff's notes version.

    We were happy as a family of 3 and weren't doing anything to look for another child. We had often said it would be nice to have another one and that's as far as it went.

    Got a call one day from an attorney I knew asking if we were interested in another child and things went from there.

    She was born a month later and we got her at 4 days.
    Our son was 11 months.
    Hope this clarifies
    Plato once said, “Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools, because they have to say something.”

    "Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt." "Men willingly believe what they wish to believe."
    Julius Caesar

    There's no natural calamity that government can't make worse.
    Bill Bonner

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    2,477

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    Quote Originally Posted by MinnesotaSmith View Post
    We have a doc and clinic that are pretty darned good. The surrogate is someone one of us has known a long, long time, so we can be sure that she won't get "Madonna Syndrome" and decide to keep the baby once delivered. I read about a fertility clinic that the doc put his own seed in for numerous patients, so I will get a paternity test done within a few days after birth and handover to double check that.

    Ultimately, though while checking bonafides is worth doing, one finally has to trust that God will lead you in time of need to the right people. I learned while hiking long trails just how good most people are; the evil and crazy get so much press, but they're not the majority, however much it seems that way at times.

    Just curious what will you do if the test results come back negative?

    I have to tell you this entire post is extremly out of the character I had in my mind of MinnesotaSmith!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Central Iowa
    Posts
    19,374

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky Guy View Post
    I have to tell you this entire post is extremly out of the character I had in my mind of MinnesotaSmith!
    Yes. Ditto. Not bashing here but I have to wonder given many of the previous posts whether any of this is a good idea. Lucky Guy, you have the same long history on the boards as I do and go back to 1999 . . .

    Then again, it really isn't any of my business.

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