Paid egg donor wanted

[Bigbear77]

You two will be in my prayers for a successful search for the donor and for a happy, healthy little one in your home

[Beaners]

Anyway, the odds of such a fraud being perpetrated upon us are apparently less than one in a thousand. With the more usual way of producing babies carrying a cuckoldry rate of up to 30% per baby among Americans, this is actually way "safer" that way than the usual way. (I would have done a paternity test on an infant produced by a wife the usual way in any event, given that rate.)

I'm trying to find words.

[MinnesotaSmith]

I'm trying to find words.

The massive amount of sexual betrayal that women have gotten by with doing for a long time that commonly never, or very belatedly gets found out by men is still a huge dirty secret to most people in this country. Easily half of all rape accusations that go to trial were bogus, for example; remember the four members of the Duke University lacrosse team who were railroaded, and only major money spent on investigation by their families (that most such men would not have) stopped them from felony conviction and long imprisonment? The vast majority of men who get cuckolded by their wives or longtime unmarried partners (who bore children supposedly theirs genetically) are completely blindsided by it, if they do by some fluke find out about it years later, even very intelligent men.

I don't have the hubris to think that my ability to discern other people's likely private moral choices in such matters is that much better than the vast majority of the brighter men. That is why I would think very highly of ALL men doing paternity testing on their children, ideally shortly after birth, but certainly ASAP after hearing of this, even later in life.

Modern technology has made possible stopping a lot of injustice, if applied properly. Think of all the men serving long sentences for rape that DNA testing has gotten released, as just one example of this. One of the fundamental axioms of justice is that the one who does wrong is not supposed to profit by it. A woman who gets by fraud one man (commonly her husband) to support and raise another man's child (thinking it is his genetic child) is precisely a person who has done wrong. That is a terribly deep betrayal, one that demands consequences.

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From this defunct men's-issues site: http://web.archive.org/web/200807020...ity_test.shtml


"From the Guardian, 1998-07-14: "More than 25 years ago the consultant obstetrician E E Phillipp reported to a symposium on embryo transfer that blood tests on between 200 and 300 women in a town in the south-east of England revealed that 30 per cent of their children could not have been fathered by the men whose blood groups had also been sampled".

From the Dallas Morning News 1999-10-31: "DNA Diagnostics Center … an industry leader, says 30 percent of the men it tests prove to be misidentified. Similar numbers come from the Texas attorney general's office, which enforces child support: About a quarter of the men who disputed paternity in the last year turned out to be right. In Florida, the proportion was one-third".

From the Sunday Times 2000-01-23: "David Hartshorne, spokesman for Cellmark, said that in about one case in seven, the presumed father turns out to be the wrong man".

From the Santa Barbara News-Press 2000-02-27: "For the population as a whole, "The generic number used by us is 10 percent," said Dr. Bradley Popovich, vice president of the American College of Medical Genetics. [15 to 25 % has been determined from blood tests of parents and offspring in Canada and the US.]"

From The Age 2000-03-26: "About 3000 paternity tests are carried out a year in Australia. In about 20 per cent of cases the purported father is found to be unrelated to the child. This figure is estimated to be 10 per cent in the general community".

From The REPORT Newsmagazine 2000-04-24: "The rate of wrongful paternity in "stable monogamous marriages," according to the Max Planck Institute in Munich, Germany, ranges from one in 10 with the first child to one in four with the fourth".

From the Independent 2000-05-12: "... biologists Robin Baker and Mark Bellis ... review of paternity studies also suggested frequent infidelity, with extra-pair paternity running between 1.4 per cent and 30 per cent in different communities".
From The Globe and Mail 2000-05-20: "Anecdotal evidence suggests these numbers bear out in Canada as well…. Maxxam Analytics in Guelph, Ont., performs approximately two paternity tests a day. And according to Dr. Wayne Murray, head of the human DNA department, one out of four men who come in pointing a finger at their spouse is not the biological father of the child in question". "

[packyderms_wife]

Wow, after reading his posts over the last several weeks I have to say is WOW.

Hey, MNS what would you do if your baby girl grew up and rebelled, got pregnant from a black muslim activist. Would you reject that girl and baby as a bastard child? Its a risk we as parents face. Heck even the most godly parents have children who rebel.

If you check his posts he already has a daughter from a previous relationship that is less than perfect from the way he describes her.

K-

[MinnesotaSmith]

If you check his posts he already has a daughter from a previous relationship that is less than perfect from the way he describes her.

K-

I have two adult ex-stepdaughters from my 10-year marriage (was divorced before becoming Christian, as people who remember what I post will know). I remain in fairly close contact with one, and see the other once in a great while (but do not correspond).

I also have a child that was given up for adoption many years ago, with whom I have no contact whatsoever.

[packyderms_wife]

I have two adult ex-stepdaughters from my 10-year marriage (was divorced before becoming Christian, as people who remember what I post will know). I remain in fairly close contact with one, and see the other once in a great while (but do not correspond).

I also have a child that was given up for adoption many years ago, with whom I have no contact whatsoever.

I took you off ignore long enough to post this to you MNSmith... maybe Yah is leading you to make amends with your children and the women who bore you dead children rather than to have new live children. I know it's NOTwhat you want to hear, too bad. Yah has a way of using fools to tell us what we don't want to hear, lest you think me a fool.

K-

[MinnesotaSmith]

I took you off ignore long enough to post this to you MNSmith... maybe Yah is leading you to make amends with your children and the women who bore you dead children rather than to have new live children. I know it's NOTwhat you want to hear, too bad. Yah has a way of using fools to tell us what we don't want to hear, lest you think me a fool.

K-

My ex-stepdaughther that I remain in fairly close contact with) is extremely supportive of what my wife and I are setting out to do. So is my mother. My father's health is so poor he's not all there most of the time, sad to say, but in his lucid times he's quite interested in our progress.

[islandgirl romy]

A brief study in genetics and the predisposition for said baby to carry the double recessive genes from both sides to result in red hair is absolutely not based on both parents simply having red hair. You would need to analyze heritage on both sides, find out all about generations of red hair on both sides to figure out the percentage of chance the baby would indeed have red hair! Even then the outcome can indeed be 50/50! With all the comments and debate, I thought you might be interested in this part of the plan you have based your post on. Finding a woman with red hair....to produce a red haired baby is not as likely as you might think. Some people with red hair are throwbacks to prior relatives generations back with neither parent possessing red hair. This red haired person then has less of a chance to produce red haired offspring..it has to do with recessive and dominant genes....

ie
I have dishwater blonde hair, natural streaks running throughout with some hidden black very hard to see hairs, the relevance is that I do not have a true color hair...blue eyes. My twin sister has the same mixed up color hair. My older sister got the Golden Auburn color hair with Hazel eyes, my brother soft black hair with hazel eyes. My parents were both different, Dad had jet black hair and hazel eyes, Mom had golden auburn hair, blue eyes. My hair is....well completely different and much lighter than hers. My Grandmother had sparkling blue eyes and jet black hair. Grandfather had dark hair too with hazel eyes. Other grandparents, one was a RED HEAD with blue eyes who with my Grandfather on that side, having yes, Black hair, hazel eyes...produced the Golden Auburn hair of my Mother's but she was blue eyed. This said....going over to my husband.....Golden brown hair. His Mom had blonde hair, his Dad had brown hair....

I have four children with my one husband, this is an example of genetics listing parents and grandparents above to understand what I am getting at. My children resulted in these combinations.
Daughter BLACK HAIR, BLUE EYES
Son DARK BROWN HAIR, BLUE EYES
Son VERY DARK BROWN HAIR, BLUE EYES
Daughter BLONDE HAIR lighter than mine, GREEN EYES

Despite all the black hair with hazel eyes, Irish heritage on both sides, German most prevalent on the other side. It is interesting and I have been asked about the kids....my husband and I just smile.... Despite all the dominance in our families with the eye and hair color...the Blue eyes and my husband Green eyes won out plus the Blonde daughter's hair color, a genetic throwback.

Predicted heights work very much the same way. Our children should be about average height. They aren't and one is shorter than average, one is taller and boys should both clear 6 feet.

Height...I am 5'5"
Husband....5'9"
Daughter....5'3"
Daughter.....5'7"
Son......5'6" at 12 yrs old...predicted to grow over 6"
Son.......5"8" at 15 predicted to grow to 6"

There are tall members in both sides of the family. Genetics is winning again on a throwback scenario.

Genetics is a tricky science...a lot of variables comes into play.

I have loved having my children...it never occurred to me that it mattered if they looked like me. Nor did it matter if they looked like my husband. I am so happy they look like themselves with lots of little things I can see from Grandparents, parents, and other relatives combined.

Setting your preference on a lady of 25 with red hair is well like throwing the dice with genetics.

[MinnesotaSmith]

Agreed that there is a definite cr*pshoot involved with genetics. I understand a bit about tending towards the mean, many genes not being expressed that are carried (heterozygous status), variable dominance, etc. We are looking at parents, grandparents and siblings of potential egg donors as well (the profiles routinely contain that information) but remain highly aware of the unpredictablity of the possible results.

[MinnesotaSmith]

For my wife and I, understanding this has two major implications in our search for the right egg donor.

1) No matter how bright both genetic parents may be, there is substantial chance that children resulting from that joining will be only mentally average at best.

2) Since we are looking for a female, expressed intelligence (or other characteristics associated with many kinds of excelling) IN HER is only moderately indicative of what genes she carries for that. The reason is that extra half-chromosome, which acts as a strong dampening/averaging-towards-the-mean factor. The vast majority of geniuses are male (5/6+ over 140 IQ, even more lopsided as you go higher). So are most idiots male, for the same reason.

And, we can't entirely go with looking at her parents and grandparents for more than a moderate amount of additional clues that way. It has been only about 30 years that the majority of the smarter people have been "plucked out" of mundane career paths. Previously, there was as good a chance of encountering very bright people in almost any field as any other. That was due to there being very few spots available in "bright people only" professions (scientist, engineer, to some extent accountant/attorney, etc.) Now, though, those sorts of professions have drawn to themselves a high proportion of the brighter people, such that the more mundane professions average relatively lower/relatively few such people.

For us, the significance is that if a potential donor's grandfather was a truck driver and grandmother a housewife, that doesn't necessarily mean squat about their brains.

Lest anyone believe that we're obsessed almost solely with IQ, the same could apply to other attributes such as sports ability; again, not that long ago, most people with the genes for it never did that much to fully exploit it (and demonstrate it).

A little knowledge can be almost paralyzing, if one is looking for perfection. Thank God we're not that unwise.