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Thread: 6 things no one tells you about farms and farming...

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    Default 6 things no one tells you about farms and farming...

    This has just a bit too much profanity, else I'd post it. But, it's absolutely hilarious about farming stuff that nonfarm people usually don't know about.

    http://tinyurl.com/84jbfns (From www.cracked.com)
    The explanations for each of the following topic titles just keep getting better and better as the author goes on.

    Enjoy!

    #6. Animals Are Designed by Nature to Be Gross


    #5. Animals Are Also [jerks], Stupid, or Stupid [jerks]


    #4. Let There Be No Misunderstanding About This: Chickens Are Rapists



    #3. Pollution Becomes a Part of the Landscape


    #2. There's No Such Thing as a Vacation



    #1. In the Country, All Your Neighbors Are Insane







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    Smile A better father among birds than a rooster...


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    Quote Originally Posted by MinnesotaSmith View Post

    #4. Let There Be No Misunderstanding About This: Chickens Are Rapists

    Absolutely true!

    We have 21 chickens roaming the yard, including 3 roosters. And chickens have their own hierarchy, which Junior the Rooster is at the bottom of. Junior only gets hens by stealth.

    Well, one day, I'm out milking a goat and I hear a rooster "having his way" with a hen right at the end of the milking stand. Suddenly, Junior's head pops up and he jumps off the hen.....and she immediately turns on him with a ferocity that is stunning! For a minute, they faced off like fighting cocks, with their hackles up. And then the offending "rapist" turned tail and ran for the hills!
    IF you are willing & obedient , you shall eat the good of the land: But if you refuse & rebel, You shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it. Isaiah 1:19, 20

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    Quote Originally Posted by grower View Post
    Absolutely true!

    We have 21 chickens roaming the yard, including 3 roosters. And chickens have their own hierarchy, which Junior the Rooster is at the bottom of. Junior only gets hens by stealth.

    Well, one day, I'm out milking a goat and I hear a rooster "having his way" with a hen right at the end of the milking stand. Suddenly, Junior's head pops up and he jumps off the hen.....and she immediately turns on him with a ferocity that is stunning! For a minute, they faced off like fighting cocks, with their hackles up. And then the offending "rapist" turned tail and ran for the hills!
    Our male Great Pyrenees will pull a rooster off a hen if she howls too loud. He usually carries the offending party across the field & releases him.

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    Having grown up on a farm the only one I'll agree with is #2, there are no vacation. Numbers 1,3, 5,& 6. are inane.

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    Default Well, Thunder...

    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder View Post
    Having grown up on a farm the only one I'll agree with is #2, there are no vacation. Numbers 1,3, 5,& 6. are inane.
    I'm pretty convinced about #3 as well. I've seen too many farms and ex-farms not to be aware that for lots of farmers, one of their lifelong mottos is "the world is my trash can". One of my ethanol plants ( a converted potato farm) had an old building in which I found discarded mail from as far back as 1908. The same place had vehicles, old insulation and other building materials, piping, fencing material, tractor tires, the odd dead dog, etc., all in back corners of the property (where the likelihood that that debris was dumped by nonresidents was nearly nil). I worked at on that place for almost a year (living there for the first few months), so got to explore thoroughly. It's not at all the only one like that I've seen, either; it's apparently a common behavior among farmers.
    Last edited by MinnesotaSmith; 02-05-2012 at 03:08 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MinnesotaSmith View Post
    I'm pretty convinced about #3 as well. I've seen too many farms and ex-farms not to be aware that for lots of farmers, one of their lifelong mottos is "the world is my trash can". One of my ethanol plants had an old building in which I found discarded mail from as far back as 1908. The same place had vehicles, old insulation and other building materials, piping, fencing material, tractor tires, the odd dead dog, etc., all in back corners of the property. I worked at on that place for almost a year (living there for the first few months), so got to explore thoroughly. It's not at all the only one like that I've seen, either; it's apparently a common behavior among farmers.
    It's NOT pollution when you are a farmer! Nope it's not junk and it's not trash, it's inventory and "we might need that someday". IF you ever wish to live on a farm and survive as a farmer you'll have to learn how to see things differently.
    • “I am not afraid, because I was born to do this."

      Joan of Arc
    Mark 8:38 - Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

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    Thunder... well, I do have to agree that roosters are rapists!! They're about the only species (and I've observed MANY in my 36 years of farming) who WILL breed the female, regardless of her opinions on the subject!

    And PW is right... that's not junk, it's inventory!! Yes, some places REALLY overdo it, but much of it traces back to a very recent time when there simply wasn't anyplace to take "garbage".... County Dumps are a very recent innovation in most rural areas.

    Some people truly are slobs- the ones who owned this place before us were pretty bad, but even they kept their junk confined to a couple different spots. We've dug up intact glass bottles, ancient pitchforks (sans handle) and even a handmade pottery jug from the one place which is directly under a roadway back to the pond.

    Old machinery is NOT "junk"... before the modern tractors, etc (which are mostly electronic), it was very common to go to the back lot and yank a piece of iron off a junked machine and use it to repair the one you're using now. Because most of our machinery is older than we are (the exceptions being the tractors), we still can do some of that.

    However, last spring, our boys came down and helped us haul almost 10 tons of metal over to the recyclers... we got a nice little check out of that, and cleaned out the spots that were getting piled up and bugging us. We're not fancy, but we don't want the place to look like a junkyard- not to mention the risk to the animals if they get into any of that.

    But as for the rest of the essay... the points could have been made and still been funny without the rather disgusting language he uses. He sounds like he was raised on either a half-azzed farm (if you don't gather your eggs frequently enough to know whether or not they're fresh, you're sure not paying very close attention to your flock!!) or else is simply a disgruntled farm kid who ran as far and fast as he could as soon as he was old enough.

    Summerthyme

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    Note I skipped the rooster one. I have an intense dislike for chickens, eggs are OK no chicken anything else. They are truely a foul bird. All other animals I have been around are only dirty if they are penned and not taken care of. Hogs use mud to cool off, other than that they are relatively clean. Their crap smells worse than others.

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    We always buy and eat free range

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